


In His Hands

by thewestmeadow



Category: Sicario (Movies)
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 08:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23348293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewestmeadow/pseuds/thewestmeadow
Summary: a poetic musing on Kate and Alejandro's last moments together, with the reader in the place of Kate.
Relationships: Alejandro Gillick/Kate Macer, Alejandro Gillick/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	In His Hands

When he looks at you, you think you can’t stand yourself anymore. Your throat contracts. You see all of your failures. He comes to your apartment, in the silence after it is all over. Because you knew you would see him again. He hadn’t let you go yet. And with him came the pain, and all the many ghosts that trailed him, invisible in the fading blue. There he came. He came and he made a place for himself in your apartment, because you had made no place for him. He was merely there, as if he had always been, with his legs spread and your gun disassembled on your table. Knowing you. 

God. The sins you wouldn’t commit for him. The sins you did commit. And then his thumb raking down your face as you sat across from him. Your purple lips. He had become a dark verse in your history, a warning. A warning you had not heeded. 

I’m not signing that, you whispered.

And what you would sign would be a contract with a demon you would never see again. Because after this, he was gone. Your killer, your protector. Somehow, everything at once.

It would be like committing suicide, he said.

But no. Because he would be the one. And that was what gave you pause. Because whose hands did you want to end up in? This man, whose hands have touched life and death and you. Whose tongue hurts and heals. Whose orders send you into danger but never into death. Not until it is truly time. Who knows that you aren’t ready. Who sends you home.

But you signed him away, because there was perhaps another way to do it, you thought. When he walked out and away forever, you stood there with your gun to his back. And he was in your hands. He turned slowly and watched you. For a moment, he was in your hands. He would have stayed. But you let him fall. And he fell out of your hands, forever.


End file.
